


How the Turntables

by TableTennis



Category: One Piece
Genre: Humor, Hypnotism, Sanji Being An Asshole, both consensual and non-consensual, but he apologizes later, mild sanji torture, one-sided sanji/nami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 01:06:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9943478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TableTennis/pseuds/TableTennis
Summary: Sanji's idea to make Nami fall in love with him backfires when he's found out. One-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know sanji wouldn't ever do this and this isn't exactly how hypnotism works i just had to write out this idea bc i can't pass up sanji torture

Sanji fidgeted in the library, one hand over his pocket and eyes fixed on the ladder. He’d asked Nami to meet him there after lunch, but she hadn’t come yet—there had been shouting earlier, she must have gotten distracted by Luffy’s shenanigans. 

“Hope this works,” he murmured, fingering the object in his breast pocket.

Finally, he heard footsteps on the ladder, and Nami came jumping down a moment later. 

“Hey,” she said with an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, Luffy was causing trouble. What is it?”

Sanji patted the cushion next to him, and Nami came and sat, looking at him expectantly.

“You seem... tense,” he said hesitantly. He’d rehearsed this mentally several times, methodical as he was.

“Who wouldn’t be, on this ship?” Nami muttered. “But yeah, I guess so. If you’re offering a massage, I’ll take it.”

Sanji almost joyfully shouted his acceptance before he remembered his original intentions.

“Not... quite,” he said. “Er... how do you feel about hypnosis, Nami- _san?_ Do you believe in it?”

“Of course,” Nami said, cocking an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah, you weren’t there—when Luffy and Zoro and I met Usopp, there was a weirdo with that kind of ability. He must’ve been in a special category... he could hypnotize anyone in just ten seconds.” She scowled. “Including Luffy. Moron.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Sanji muttered, knowing how easily-tricked their captain was.

“Anyway, what’s that got to do with... ?”

Sanji reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the small pocket watch he’d found earlier. Reading certain books and spotting the item in a cheap shop had struck him with the idea—and as hesitant as he had been to execute it in the first place, it would not leave his mind and grew on him like a fungus until he convinced himself that it wouldn’t hurt anyone, and wouldn’t hurt to try.

Nami eyed the pocket watch. “And just what are you planning to do with that?”

“I thought... maybe, I could... hypnotize you so you could relax more,” Sanji said. It was only a half-lie, really—if it went as planned, Nami would be quite relaxed in a trance.

Nami now frowned at him. “What brought up that idea?”

“I... like I said, you’ve seemed tense, and... I was reading a book, and a scene in it gave me the idea,” Sanji explained, playing with the watch. It was in need of winding—the second hand made no noise and moved every quarter-minute.

“So... what would happen?” Nami asked, shifting on the cushions.

Sanji glanced at her—yes! She seemed open to it!

“I don’t know if you’ve read hypnosis scenes or seen anything other than whatever that weirdo did,” he said slowly, “but I would... give suggestions to relax, maybe when a word is said or something happens.” He gave her a hopeful smile, though he already felt guilty about even half-lying. “It couldn’t hurt?”

Nami hesitated, looking between him and the watch.

“Okay.” She sat back on the cushions. “Give it a try.”

Sanji gulped and nodded. “Okay, Nami-<i>san</i>. Just sit back...”

He held the chain of the pocket watch, dangling it in front of her face.

“...And follow this... with your eyes.”

He slowly swung the watch, awkwardly at first but soon getting a steady rhythm down. Nami folded her arms as her eyes tracked its movements.

“Watch it swing...” Sanji said slowly, his own eyes darting between her and the watch. “Back and forth... back and forth...”

Nami’s eyes briefly flickered to him as if irritated, but then went back to watching the pendulum. Sanji was silent after this.

It had been a few minutes now. Nami’s eyelids flickered as she watched the pendulum. Initially she had planned to play along to placate Sanji, not thinking he had the ability to hypnotize... but now... she felt as though she couldn’t take her eyes off the watch.

“Back and forth...” Sanji said to the rhythm of the swinging. “Back and forth...”

Nami unconsciously unfolded her arms, dropping them to her sides and slowly pushing herself so she sat upright.

“The watch... fills your vision... you can’t... look away...”

It was true, she thought vaguely as her eyes moved back and forth, back and forth. She couldn’t look elsewhere...

“You don’t... want to... look away...”

...Nor did she want to...

“Back and forth... back and forth...” Sanji said, softly now. “It’s relaxing to watch it swing back and forth... relax... back and forth...”

Tension slowly began to leave Nami, starting in her legs...

“Relax... back and forth... so soothing...”

Then her torso... and arms.

Sanji stopped speaking again, watching Nami’s eyes follow the swinging watch, utterly transfixed. Her mouth had parted, but she hadn’t bothered closing it. He gulped and went on.

“You are becoming... sleepy,” he said slowly. “The swinging... is so relaxing... back and forth... it’s making you... so tired.”

Nami’s eyelids fluttered at this. Everything Sanji had said so far was true... she _was_ relaxed, and she _was_ becoming sleepy now.

“Watch it swing... back and forth, back and forth,” Sanji said again. “Each swing... makes you sleepier... makes you more relaxed... makes your eyelids heavier...”

Nami let out a big yawn, surprising Sanji, but her eyes never left the pendulum.

“All your worries... all your thoughts... are disappearing,” Sanji said. “The swinging... back and forth... is all... you can think of... is all... you _want_ to think of...”

Nami struggled to keep her eyes open as her head started to bob. It was a chore to stay sitting upright now.

“Lean... against... the cushions...”

Nami slowly sat back, relaxing even further without the task of staying upright, and Sanji kept the pendulum swinging in front of her sleepy face as he moved it closer to accommodate.

“Don’t... close your eyes... yet,” Sanji ordered. “Keep... them open... even though they’re so heavy... and you are so sleepy... and so relaxed...”

The fight to keep her eyes open despite her sleepiness seemed to tire her even further—perfect.

“Back and forth... back and forth...”

Sanji hesitated, watching her eyes track its movements. They had glazed over somewhat, and her mouth hung open.

“When you close your eyes...” he said at last. “You will be in a trance.”

Nami made the faintest noise of acknowledgement, still concentrating on the pendulum.

“Now... you cannot keep your eyes open any longer. Sleep.”

Nami’s eyes finally fell shut and her head lolled onto the cushions. Sanji dropped his arm, stowing away the watch, and took a deep breath.

“Can you... hear me, Nami- _san?”_ he asked, crossing his fingers.

“...Mm... yes,” she murmured, eyes still shut and head resting half on her shoulder, half on the cushion.

“You are... in a trance.” He brushed some hair from his face. “Will you—I mean, you will... do what I say. Won’t you? Please?”

“...Yes...”

He grinned in devilish delight. “Please sit up.”

As if sleepwalking, she slowly moved so her head was upright and her arms rested neatly on either side of her. Her eyes remained shut, her mouth slightly parted.

Sanji watched her for a moment, admiring her face, before saying, “Open your eyes, Nami- _san?”_

Her eyes slid open, not quite all the way, but enough for Sanji to see they had a glazed, distant look to them, and she stared straight ahead rather than look at him. He waved a hand in front of her face—no reaction.

“You can... close them,” he said, and they fell shut again. “Nami- _san,_ listen to me...”

“...Yes...” she murmured when he did not continue.

He hesitated, suddenly thinking of something. “Whenever you hear the word ‘Cilantro,’ you will fall under this trance again. Do you understand?”

“...Yes...”

Sanji gulped. “Now... I’m going to clap my hands. When I do... you will wake up from this trance. You will think... you came here for a book... and I happened to be here. You won’t remember anything from this state, or talking to me about hypnosis, or being hypnotized. And...” He took a deep breath. “You will be my girlfriend. Did you get all that?”

A pause.

“...Yes...” she murmured, eyelids twitching.

Sanji smiled. “Yes, yes! Thank you, Nami- _san!”_

She was silent.

“Stand up and go to a shelf,” Sanji added, remembering the part about the book. “Open your eyes so you can see where you’re going.”

Very slowly, Nami stood, eyes half-open, and shuffled to a shelf, standing in front of it with arms hanging down, not really seeing any of the titles.

Sanji raised his hands and clapped twice sharply. Nami jumped, her eyes flying wide as she suddenly focused and blinked hard, and she looked around the shelves.

“Oh, great, now I can’t remember what I came in here for,” she said in frustration, scratching her head. She glanced at Sanji. “Sanji- _kun,_ do you remember?”

“No, sorry,” Sanji lied, shrugging. He stood and went to her, brazenly resting hands on her shoulders, and murmured, “Maybe this will help?”

Nami grinned and turned around, grabbing his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hm, maybe. But if you really don’t know, that’s fine, I’ll remember it later.”

She blinked and frowned. “Sanji- _kun?”_

Sanji’s face was stuck in a lovestruck smile after the kiss, and he now grinned goofily at her. “Nami- _san!”_

“Oh, I’ve kissed you a hundred times before,” she said dismissively. Sanji blinked in surprise, noting he hadn’t mentioned how long to think they’d been together when she was under, but she just continued, “You can’t act like that every time!”

She paused, brows knitting briefly together at this, but shrugged it off.

“I can’t help it,” Sanji said at last, straightening his tie. “My heart fills with love for you everytime I see you, so—!”

Nami laughed. “Cut it out, geez!” She went to the ladder. “I’ll come back if I remember what book I wanted. See you!”

She went up, throwing another smile his way before vanishing. Sanji fell onto the cushions with a goofy smile.

* * *

 

“Smoothies, my dears...”

Sanji placed a smoothie next to Robin, and one next to Nami as they sunbathed on the deck later that day.

“Thank you,” Robin said with a smile, taking a sip of hers.

“Mm...” Nami said after she tried hers. She beckoned to Sanji and pulled him forward by his tie, kissing his cheek. “Thanks, Sanji- _kun.”_

“Anytime,” Sanji sighed, giving her a kiss in return.

A crash from the middle of the deck distracted them, and Nami set her drink down and stood.

“Keep it _down!”_ she yelled, lifting her sunglasses. “Stop destroying the ship!”

“Sorry!” Luffy and Usopp yelled.

“Don’t worry about them,” Sanji said, gently pulling her into a hug. “Shh... there, there...”

“Cut that out,” she snapped, though she grinned, and soon they were kissing again, this time for a bit longer.

“Um...”

They broke away and turned to see Robin staring at them.

“Should we go somewhere else?” Nami asked at last.

Robin raised an eyebrow. “Pardon the intrusion, but since when were you two... like that?”

“What are you talking about?” Nami exclaimed before Sanji could say anything. “Come on, we’ve been together for...” Her brow creased as she thought. “Um... how long _has_ it been, Sanji- _kun?”_

Sanji’s eyes darted between her and Robin as Robin scrutinized him, not missing this nervous action.

“About a month,” he said quickly.

“There you go,” Nami said, satisfied. “A month.”

“...I see,” Robin said. “Of course. Carry on.”

She returned to her book.

“Actually, I’m going to go back to sunbathing,” Nami murmured to Sanji. “See you later?”

“Of course,” Sanji said, grinning. She smiled and returned to her chair while he took the tray away, humming to himself.

Robin watched him go before turning to Nami.

“Have you _really_ been together for a month?” she whispered.

Nami glanced around and looked to her, appearing embarrassed. “I... actually don’t remember when we got together,” she admitted in an undertone. “But I couldn’t say that in front of Sanji- _kun_ —he said it was a month, so it must be a month.”

“You seemed uncertain,” Robin murmured. “It was odd. I couldn’t remember seeing you show such... _affection_ before.”

Nami frowned at her. “I must have, right? I’m always like that with him.” Her brow suddenly creased again as she stared at the horizon. “Right?”

“Just... forget it,” Robin said, shaking her head.

Nami sighed and sipped her drink, staring thoughtfully at the horizon, while Robin returned to her book, not really reading the words but pondering the situation.

* * *

 

“Thanks so much, Sanji- _kun!”_

The crew stared at Nami in shock as she pressed a kiss to Sanji’s lips right after delivering her dishes to the sink.

“Want some...  _help_ with the dishes?” she added, winking.

“I—yes, Nami- _san,_ that would be lovely!” Sanji exclaimed, grinning.

“Time-out!” Usopp yelled. “What the hell just happened?!”

Nami looked at him while Sanji glanced away.

“I mean—since when are _you two_ like _that?!”_ Usopp exclaimed, gesturing between Nami and Sanji.

“Oh, not you, too!” Nami said in exasperation. “Sanji- _kun_ and I have been together for a month! Right?”

 _“A month?”_ came the reply of disbelief from the others. Robin was silent, watching Sanji.

“Congratulations, but really?” Franky said at last. “A whole month?”

“Well—yeah,” Nami said uncertainly. She glanced at Sanji. “Right?”

“Right,” Sanji agreed. He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “Are you lot really so slow as to not notice?”

“If Nami’s been kissing Sanji every night after dinner, then it makes sense that we didn’t notice,” Luffy said slowly. “Because we’ve been eating at that time!”

“That’s just you,” Zoro snapped, smacking him. He glanced at Nami. “ _Have_ you been doing that? We can’t have all missed that, we’re not _that_ dumb.”

Nami hesitated. “Yes,” she said at last. “Of course I have.”

But there was a touch of uncertainty in her voice.

“You all need to learn to pay attention more,” Sanji said as if exasperated. “What are we going to do if we’re attacked and we perish because you all were _distracted?”_

“Young love is perhaps the most distracting hobby,” Brook said with false wisdom. “I think it is you two who should be the most careful. By the way, Nami- _san,_ have you shown Sanji- _san_ your panties yet?”

“She hasn’t!” Sanji yelled. Nami yanked off her shoe and threw it at Brook’s skull. It hit the bone with a hollow sound and he cried out.

“Leave us the hell alone!” she exclaimed. Chopper nervously tossed her shoe back to her.

The crew slowly dispersed after that, Nami staying behind to help with the dishes as promised. The last to leave was Zoro, eyeing Sanji and Nami curiously before he turned and left, and he met with the others outside.

“Good, we’re already here,” he muttered, sitting in the circle.

“Why are we here again?” Luffy asked, rocking back and forth.

“Nico Robin’s watching the kitchen now,” Franky explained, jutting a thumb towards Robin, who had her eyes shut. “Because something’s definitely up with Bro Sanji and Sis, right?”

“Yeah,” Zoro agreed. “I don’t care what they say, they _definitely_ haven’t been like that before today. And Nami...”

“Seemed very uncertain,” Robin agreed, her eyes still shut. “She confessed earlier she didn’t remember when she and Sanji got together.”

“So why am I here?” Luffy asked again.

“Because it’s a mystery and we’re going to solve it,” Usopp said, patting him on the back.

“Oh! Okay!”

“They’re talking,” Robin murmured.

* * *

 

The dishes were about halfway done when Nami spoke up.

“Sanji- _kun?”_

“My darling?” he exclaimed, turning to her.

She looked at him. “I’m sorry. I can’t remember... when we started dating.”

He gulped and turned back to the sink.

“And I can’t even remember if I’ve kissed you after every meal,” she continued, holding the counter, “or if I’ve given you goodnight kisses, or anything like that—and no one else remembered that stuff, either. Why?”

“Let’s sit,” Sanji said quickly. Nami followed him to the table and they sat across from each other.

“Cilantro.”

Her shoulders slumped, her eyes glazed over and fell shut, and her head lolled onto her shoulder.

“Nami- _san..._ ”

“...Mm...”

“If anyone asks questions about our relationship... you will let me answer. When I do... you will remember according to whatever I answer... and you will agree. Do you understand?”

“...Yes,” she murmured, her breathing slow and deep.

“When I clap my hands, you will wake up, and you will not remember this.” Sanji stood. “Please open your eyes... and come back to the sink.”

Nami’s eyes slid partway open and she slowly stood, dragging her feet to the sink and slumping over the basin.

Sanji stood next to her and clapped his hands sharply. Nami blinked and shook her head.

“Where were we?” she said cheerfully.

* * *

 

Robin opened her eyes, a look of utter surprise and displeasure filling her face.

“What is it?” Luffy said. “Something happen?”

“Yes,” Robin said shortly. “For goodness’s sake, I never thought he would do something like _this_ —”

“Something like what?” Chopper prompted curiously.

Robin shook her head. “I think... it’s a little embarrassing. I’ll meet with Nami- _chan_ in private when she comes out, and she can decide if she wants to share.”

“Can you at least tell us something?” Franky said.

“Like I said, I’ll leave it up to her,” Robin said. “Everyone... don’t share this with Sanji. I need to discuss this with Nami- _chan_ first.”

The others shared looks.

“If you say so,” Zoro said at last.

“I want a full disclosure later,” Usopp said firmly.

“We’ll see.”

Everyone stood and parted ways.

When the kitchen door opened, Robin swiftly accosted Nami with a smile. “Could you come with me to the library for a minute?” she asked. “Sorry to split you two up, but I need help deciphering a map I found—I think you’ll find it very interesting.”

“Oh, sure,” Nami exclaimed, eyes lighting up in interest. She grinned at Sanji. “Meet you later!”

They hugged before splitting off, Sanji heading to the crow’s nest to antagonize Zoro while Robin led Nami into the library.

“Where’s the map?” Nami asked, looking around.

“Oh, that was a lie,” Robin said. “I just had to get you away from Sanji.”

Nami frowned. “Hey, why? I don’t really care if none of you like us together, I’ll do what makes me happy!”

“Trust me, I’m doing this for you,” Robin said, and something in her tone made Nami pause. “Let’s sit.”

Nami sat with her. “Fine. What is it?”

“Cilantro.”

For the third time that day, Nami’s eyes glazed over and she slumped into the cushions as if sleeping, her mouth parted and eyelids shut.

“Can you hear me?” Robin said clearly.

“...Yes...”

“Will you do as I say?”

“...Yes,” Nami sighed with a small yawn.

“Did Sanji hypnotize you?”

“...Yes...”

Robin sighed and moved some hair out of Nami’s face. “Okay. I’m going to snap my fingers soon. When I do, you will wake up from this trance. You will remember being hypnotized and whatever happened whenever you were in this state. Every command and suggestion you were given will be erased from your unconscious or subconscious, including trigger words. Do you understand?”

She said all this slowly. There was a pause.

“...Yes,” Nami murmured.

“Okay.”

Robin snapped her fingers next to Nami’s ear. Nami’s eyes fluttered open and she sat up, blinking. She looked at Robin with a small frown and seemed about to say something when her eyes widened and she turned her gaze elsewhere. Her hand went to her temple as her face passed through a series of expressions: Surprise, anger, embarrassment, dismay, relief, and finally anger again.

“I’m going to kill him,” she announced, standing up. “I’m going to run him through with all the kitchen knives, and then Zoro’s swords, and then I’m going to strangle him with my bare hands and set him on fire.”

“Cilantro.”

Nami turned back to Robin with narrowed eyes.

“Just making sure it doesn’t work,” Robin said with a shrug. “How are you feeling?”

“How do you think?!” Nami exclaimed, hands balling into fists. “How _dare_ he do something like that without my permission! I’m going to drain him of every cent he has and then some! I’ll poison his food!”

“Sit down,” Robin said. “I’m angry, too.”

“You sure don’t look it,” Nami muttered, sitting next to Robin again and leaning on her shoulder, bringing her legs up next to her.

“How did this happen?”

Nami’s jaw tightened. “He said he wanted to try hypnosis to help me relax. _I_ thought I could _trust_ him with doing _only that.”_

“And now you’re more tense than ever,” Robin sighed. “Ironic.”

Nami turned her glare to her.

“Sorry.”

She looked back down.

“Thank you,” she murmured. “For undoing it. I owe you.”

“Anytime.”

“If that’s all, I have a cook to murder.”

“ _No,”_ Robin said sternly. “I’m angry, too, and I’m sure everyone else would be if they knew. But physical violence is, for once, not the solution.”

“Then what is?”

Robin smiled. “A taste of his own medicine. You said he had a pocket watch?”

* * *

 

A brief discussion later, and they agreed that Nami would continue acting as if she loved Sanji in that way to make him think nothing was wrong. Robin promised she would have her part done by lunchtime the following afternoon.

“Thanks again,” Robin said with a smile as she and Nami came out to the deck again. “For the help with the map.”

“Anytime,” Nami said, smiling.

“Nami- _san,_ my love!” Sanji exclaimed, coming towards her with a grin. The others were beginning to trail to their quarters, ready for bed. “Will you keep watch with me, love? We can watch the stars together!”

Nami forced a smile, her eye twitching. “Oh, Sanji- _kun,_ I’m sorry...” She yawned into her hand. “I’m just so tired. Maybe another time!”

“Oh...” Sanji smiled and hugged her. “Then you should rest. I’ll see you in the morning, darling Nami- _san!”_

“See you!” Nami said with a cheerful wave. As he climbed the ropes to the crow’s nest for watch, the others stared at Nami as her expression changed into one of disgust and she flipped the bird in Sanji’s general direction.

“What happened?” Usopp exclaimed, hurrying to her as she and Robin went to their room. “I thought you two got together?”

“Say that again and you’re going on the murder list,” Nami said dangerously. “We’re not together and we never will be.”

Usopp squeaked in fear and backed off. “But—earlier—?”

“ _Never happened,_ as far as you are concerned,” Nami hissed. She gave everyone else her best glare, making them cower. “And all of you, too! Is that clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison. Nami gave a nod of finality and strode to her room, slamming the door behind her.

The others turned to Robin for explanation.

“Look, if she wants to tell you later, that’s her business,” Robin said firmly. “Just don’t ask her right now. She’s still upset.”

“Can we make her less upset?” Luffy said tentatively.

“I’m going to try tomorrow,” Robin said grimly. Something in her voice made the others shiver. “Goodnight.”

She went to the room, shutting the door gently behind her.

“Wow,” Chopper whispered. “I wonder what’s going on?”

“Guess it’s none of our business,” Zoro muttered. “Unless Nami feels like sharing. Maybe we’ll find out tomorrow.”

He went into the men’s quarters, and just three seconds had passed when the others heard snoring.

“How does he do that?” Franky muttered.

* * *

 

Robin was absent the morning of the following day, coming out of the women’s quarters only to eat and then disappearing within again. Nami treated Sanji quite sweetly, but whenever his back was turned, she would make faces and violent gestures, scaring everyone else.

Having no more need for it, Sanji didn’t even notice that a small item had gone missing from his breast pocket.

That afternoon, when Sanji was done with the dishes of lunch, Robin approached him outside the kitchen. Brook, Zoro, and Usopp sat on the deck nearby, watching silently.

“Sanji,” she murmured with a sneaky smile, “could you... maybe... meet me in my room? Nami- _chan_ is waiting for us...”

Sanji’s eyes widened and his ears turned red. “R-Really?” he said, voice cracking. “Of course! Yes! Should I do anything first—?”

“Just come along,” Robin said. She led Sanji down the stairs, throwing a look to the three observers which said, “Can you believe him?”

“What is she doing?” Usopp whispered nervously. “I don’t like that look in her eyes.”

“We should be patient to learn, Usopp- _san,”_ Brook murmured.

* * *

 

Sanji’s eyes darted around as Robin led him into the women’s quarters (the forbidden land) and shut the door, leaving them in darkness.

“Nami- _san?”_ he said hopefully. He felt the presence vanish from his side and looked around. “Robin- _chan?_ Where did you go?”

Someone moved in front of him, and suddenly he was tackled to the ground face-down, hands forced behind his back with clever fingers working a rope around his wrists into a tight knot.

“No hard feelings, Sanji- _kun?”_ came a sickly-sweet voice.

“Nami- _san?!”_ Sanji exclaimed. “What’s—”

He was cut off by her hand around his mouth. A moment later she released him in favor of turning around to rope up his ankles in the same fashion as his wrists.

“He’s good, Robin,” Nami said with satisfaction. She now took a piece of cloth and tied it around Sanji’s eyes, blinding him even as the light was turned on.

Sanji was forced to his feet, Nami’s hand covering his mouth again as he was dragged across the floor and propped upon a chair. Quick ropework left him bound to it, and the awkward positioning made it impossible to break free.

“Nami- _san?”_ he exclaimed when the hand released him. “Nami- _san,_ what’s going on? Why are you doing this, darling?”

“Oh, _cut the crap,”_ Nami hissed, yanking up the blindfold so he could properly see how angry she was. “I’m no darling of yours.”

Sanji’s eyes widened, realizing the hypnosis must have worn off—somehow.

“Um... what’s all this about?” he said weakly, tugging at his binds while Nami tied the cloth a different way so the hair normally covering his left eye was out of the way, leaving both eyes exposed.

“Revenge.”

Robin now stood in front of him, holding something behind her back.

“You’d do best to go along with it,” she added. “Nami’s alternative involved sharp objects.”

Sanji gulped. “I... could yell,” he threatened lamely.

“No one will come,” Robin said with her special smile. “The others know what we’re doing, and they’re in on it.”

She sent a quick wink Nami’s way.

“What...  _are_ you doing, Robin- _chan?”_ Sanji asked nervously, a bead of sweat running down his face. “Normally I wouldn’t object to being tied up in a room with two lovely ladies, but...”

“It’s simple,” Robin said soothingly.

A hand sprouted from the top of Sanji’s head. Robin handed it something and pulled up another chair, sitting across from Sanji. Nami sat on the edge of her bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.

“All you have to do is relax...”

The hand moved and dropped something on a chain in front of Sanji’s eyes.

“And follow this with your eyes.”

It was Sanji’s broken pocket watch, only now—Robin had replaced the face with a neatly-drawn black-and-white spiral, and the once-slow mechanism had ceased to move at all. When it began to swing left and right in front of Sanji’s eyes, they flew wide before he squeezed them shut.

“No,” he exclaimed. “No, Robin- _chan,_ I—”

“Calm down,” Robin ordered, two fingers sprouting on Sanji’s face and forcing his eyes open. “This is only to help you relax... just like you only wanted to help Nami relax.”

Nami snorted from her bed.

“No,” Sanji exclaimed again, trying to force his eyes shut again, but Robin was quite resilient and held his eyes open, leaving just enough freedom so they would not water. Sanji continued muttering, trying to distract himself, but when his mouth grew dry, he fell silent.

The pendulum continued to swing in front of his eyes, never ceasing momentum. Despite his eyes being forced open, Sanji tried to focus on something else, anything else—the wall, Nami resting on the bed, Robin sitting across from him—but the motion always drew his eyes back, and he would track its movements back and forth before snapping away again and darting his eyes around the room.

“Relax,” Robin murmured. “Just watch it.”

His eyes darted to her again, but then the pendulum swung in front of his her, blocking her just long enough for him to start watching it again, his eyes moving with it. He stubbornly started to move his whole head, keeping his eyes still instead of the other way around, and Robin allowed this, for he soon found the shaking motion annoying and settled back, stilling his head again. He’d only just done so when his eyes started following the pendulum again, tracking the mesmerizing motion.

“Watch it swing... back and forth... back and forth...”

Sanji stubbornly pulled on the ropes even as his eyes followed the movements.

“Back and forth,” came Robin’s soft drone. “Back and forth.”

And slowly, so slowly, his struggles ceased. His shoulders remained stiff, but struggling had been too much of an effort, and he now sat still and silent, watching the pendulum swing in front of his eyes. The spiral did quite a lot to draw his attention.

“Watch it swing... back and forth... back and forth,” Robin repeated. “You’re tense... you should relax more.”

Sanji blinked, not even realizing Robin had at some point vanished the fingers keeping his eyes open.

“Back and forth... relax... back and forth...”

It took several seconds of repeating this for Sanji’s shoulders to loosen up. He twitched, eyes swinging with the pendulum’s movements.

“Back... and forth,” Robin repeated, her voice soft and monotone. “You are relaxed... back and forth... you cannot look away...”

Sanji found this to be true. No matter how much he tried, his eyes stayed glued to the swinging.

“Do you want to look away?”

Sanji gave a small frown at this, his lips parting.

“Yes...” he murmured at last. “I do...”

“No, you don’t.”

Sanji licked his lips, staying silent this time.

“I’m not holding your eyes open.”

Sanji blinked, finally noticing.

“But you never closed your eyes...” Robin smiled. “So you must want to watch. You want to watch it swing back and forth... back and forth... because it’s very relaxing... back and forth... you want to watch it... back and forth...”

Sanji’s eyes never left the motions, still moving side-to-side in the steady rhythm, and now his head began to tilt, and he had to keep it upright while watching the pendulum’s swinging.

“Back and forth... back and forth...”

His head felt a bit fuzzy. He was aware of his surroundings, but only vaguely, and it was becoming hard to think.

“Don’t think,” came the soft voice. “Just watch the swinging... back and forth... so relaxing... back and forth...”

It had been maybe ten minutes now. Sanji’s eyes would not leave the pendulum now, even when Robin waved her hand behind it.

“You must be tired...” she murmured. “I’m sure it’s hard work... to keep moving your eyes... back and forth... back and forth...”

Sanji’s mouth was parted. Several times it had opened only for him to close it quickly again, but now he hadn’t bothered with that for at least a minute.

“Yes... the swinging... back and forth... is making you sleepy... back and forth... your head and eyelids... are heavy... back and forth...”

Sanji’s eyelids had barely moved when he snapped them wide open again, determined to stay awake. He lifted his chin stubbornly and continued to watch the pendulum.

“As the swinging moves... back and forth...” Robin murmured. “You become... sleepier... more relaxed... your eyes are heavy... back and forth...”

Sanji’s head bobbed but he snapped it back up again, despite the rest of his body going limp. Another few minutes of this made him realize he was fighting a losing battle, but he stubbornly kept his eyes open, watching the pendulum.

“Do you want to sleep?” Robin murmured. Nami sat up, watching now and picking at some lint on her clothes.

“...Yes,” Sanji murmured after a moment.

“You can’t yet.”

Sanji’s eyes twitched in frustration.

“You can’t close your eyes... because you want to watch the pendulum... swing back and forth... it feels good... back and forth... to watch... back and forth...”

Sanji made a small noise, but his eyes stayed open, blinking and never leaving the pendulum’s steady motions.

“Sanji... I’m going to count backwards... from ten.” Robin watched him. “With each number... your eyes will become heavier... your head will be harder to hold up... you will become sleepier... and more relaxed.”

Robin glanced at Nami, who raised an eyebrow at her. She smiled and turned back to Sanji.

“When I say zero...” she continued softly, “you will finally close your eyes... and you will be in a trance... ready to do... whatever I tell you. Do you understand?”

“...Yes...” Sanji murmured, though his brow creased for a moment.

“Ten... back and forth... nine... watch it swing... eight... your thoughts are leaving you...”

Sanji’s eyes flickered and his head bobbed again. His mouth hung wider now, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Seven... back and forth... relax... six... your mind is blank... relax... five... you’re so sleepy...”

Sanji yawned now, eyes drooping, but he kept them half-open, still watching the pendulum swing. Robin paused before continuing.

“Four,” she said. “You can only think of how sleepy you are... how heavy your eyes are... and how good it feels... to watch it swing... back and forth...”

Sanji squinted, refusing to shut his eyes for even a second.

“Three... your head is heavy... you see nothing... but the pendulum swinging... back and forth... relax... back and forth... so sleepy...”

Sanji’s head bobbed fiercely, but he doggedly held it up. He yawned again.

“Two...” Robin eyed him. “Watch it swing... back and forth... relax...”

His eyes sluggishly followed the pendulum’s movements. He was slumped forward, his head held up still.

“One,” she droned. “You’re so sleepy... very relaxed... your head is heavy... your eyes are heavy...”

Sanji indeed felt as though lead weights were attached to his eyelids with how hard it was to keep them open at that time. He could only think of how much he wanted to shut his eyes, but also how good it felt to forever watch only the pendulum’s relaxing swinging, so relaxing—

“Your mind is blank. Zero.”

Sanji’s eyes flickered to Robin for the slightest instant, focusing for a brief moment to give her a certain look before they fell shut and his head dropped to his chest.

“That took a really long time,” Nami remarked as the hand on Sanji’s head tossed Robin the pendulum and vanished. “With me, it was only... I don’t know, five minutes?”

“I think that’s because you agreed to it in the first place,” Robin explained, putting the tool in her pocket, “and he was resisting quite a lot.”

Nami grunted in response and eyed Sanji, whose chin still rested on his chest as he breathed deeply.

“And, come to think of it... Sanji,” Robin said in a commanding tone, “lift your head.”

Sanji raised his head, his eyes still closed. Robin nodded to Nami, who went to the chair to untie him. Sanji didn’t move even when his limbs were free.

“You are in a trance,” Robin said clearly, “and you will do as I say. Is that clear?”

Sanji’s face twitched, his eyes still shut.

“...Yes... no,” he murmured.

“You will do as I say. Is that clear?” Robin repeated.

“...No,” Sanji murmured again.

Nami and Robin glanced at each other.

“He’s still resisting,” Robin said at last. “Well, that won’t work. We need him completely under for this to go through.”

Sanji half-opened his glazed eyes and slowly stood. He murmured something and started shuffling for the door.

“Stop,” Robin ordered, and that was enough to halt him in his tracks. “Come back here.”

Sanji turned around, so slowly and reluctantly, and shuffled back to the chair.

“I...” he murmured hesitantly.

“Sit down,” Robin said firmly. He sat back on the chair. “And relax,” she added, and his shoulders slumped again.

“Why don’t you want to do as I say?” she asked as Nami sat back on her bed, tapping her fingers in irritation.

Sanji frowned. “I... don’t want... to be... in a trance...”

“You are,” Robin said. “You are in a light trance right now.”

Silence. Sanji stared straight ahead.

“You did do as I said,” she added. “I told you to come back, and you did. I told you to sit down and relax, and you did. I wanted you to answer my question, and you did.”

Another small frown creased Sanji’s face.

“Obeying me isn’t that hard, don’t you see?” Robin said softly. “It feels _good_ to obey.”

“You’re good at this,” Nami whispered as Sanji blinked slowly. Robin sent her a wink.

“Do you see this?” she asked, bringing out the pendulum again and holding it in front of Sanji’s eyes.

“Yes...” he murmured.

“Do you remember it?”

“Yes...”

“Do you remember how good it felt to watch? You watched it swing back and forth, back and forth...” Robin moved it from side to side as she spoke, and Sanji’s eyes automatically followed it. “It was so relaxing...”

She stopped and brought it back now, and Sanji almost looked disappointed.

“I can show you something better,” she promised.

“Better... ?” Sanji murmured, confused.

Robin now wound up the little dial on the side, fixed that morning to move far faster than every second, and she held it in front of his eyes. The spiral had begun to turn, spinning so the lines appeared to move towards the center.

“Do you like this?” she asked. “Do you like... how your eyes are drawn... to the center?”

Sanji’s eyes crossed as they both moved to the spiral’s center. He watched it spinning, his head swaying.

“Do you like this, Sanji? Answer me.”

“...Yes...” he murmured, eyes still fixed on the spinning.

“This spiral has a special power.” She scooted closer and started to move the pendulum back and forth again, this time with her hand, and far more slowly so that Sanji could focus on the spiral.

“Special... power... ?” he repeated, watching the movements with glazed eyes.

“The spiral... as it spins... draws out... your resistance,” Robin droned, slowly moving it back and forth. “Can you feel... yourself surrendering... as you stare... deep into the spiral... ?”

Sanji’s head swayed as he frowned, though his eyes stayed with the pendulum’s movements, and fixed upon the spiral’s spinning.

“Gaze deep... deep into the spiral... as it moves... back and forth... back and forth...”

Sanji’s mouth started to hang open again. His head bobbed a bit.

“It feels good... to obey... back and forth... to surrender... your will... stare into the spiral... back and forth...”

Nami waved at Sanji, but he completely ignored her. She grinned and dropped her hand.

“Sanji... I’m going to count backwards... from five now,” Robin said firmly. “With each number... the spiral... will draw out... more and more... resistance... and when I say zero... you will... surrender. Do you understand?”

“Uh,” Sanji said intelligently.

“Five... the spiral fills your mind... back and forth... no other thoughts... or cares... or worries can enter... back and forth... relax...”

Sanji blinked, eyes transfixed by the pendulum’s movements.

“Four... the part of you that resists... is disappearing... it feels good... relax... stare deep... into the spiral... let it take... your resistance... back and forth...”

She was right, Sanji noticed, she had been right since the beginning, but he could only think this for a second before the spinning, swinging spiral filled his thoughts again.

“Three... your eyes are heavy again... they will close soon... back and forth... you cannot think...”

Sanji was drowning in the spinning spiral now, so relaxed and at peace as his eyes drooped and he yawned.

“Two... the swinging... feels good to watch... you remember it... back and forth... relaxing... how it made your eyes heavy... back and forth... your head heavy... how it made you so sleepy... relax... and ready... to obey...”

He could hardly remember a thing, but if she told him to, he would, and he did for a moment—watching the pendulum swing for eternity before falling under her power, and now she was making him feel even better than before—

“One... the spiral... draws out... all your will... relax... it feels so good... you cannot resist my orders... you want to obey me... without question... back and forth...”

Yes, of course he did, it was all he wanted. He nodded slowly, drooped eyes swinging with the pendulum and head swaying with its spinning, he felt dizzy and light and so good.

“Surrender... zero.”

Sanji’s eyes fell shut again, his head falling onto his shoulder as a small smile came onto his face. Robin put away the pendulum again.

“I think it worked this time,” she announced. Nami got to the edge of her bed and watched as Robin said, “Sanji, lift your head and open your eyes.”

Sanji did so. His eyes remained half-closed and glassy, and the smile never left his face.

“You are in a deep trance. Your mind is blank, and your only desire is to obey me. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Sanji murmured.

Robin smiled. “Good. When you are in this state... you will obey _only_ me. Whenever you hear me and only me say the word... ‘Paprika,’ you will return to this state. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“He’s pretty far gone,” Nami remarked.

“I think I did good work,” Robin said with a touch of amusement. “Now... what kind of punishment should we inflict?”

This was the part they had decided to save for later, and they now lapsed into thoughtful silence.

“We can make him throw himself into the sea,” Nami suggested. “I think that’s a good compromise between my plan and this.”

“We are not doing that,” Robin scolded. “Do be civil. He may have done _that_ to you, but he wasn’t violent, so we’re not going to hurt him directly either.”

“Directly,” Nami muttered. “Okay. Well, since he did that to me... we could make him think he loves Zoro?”

“This is supposed to be a punishment for him, not Zoro,” Robin pointed out.

“Oh, good point.” Nami stared at Sanji with a scowl, but he didn’t see her and kept staring straight ahead with a small smile. “God, this is weird.”

“A bit. Sanji?”

“Yes?”

“Close your eyes. You can relax.”

“Yes.” Sanji shut his eyes and let his head fall onto his chest again.

“That’s better.” Nami shifted, crossing her legs. “Let’s see... we could make him see horrible bugs everywhere?”

“Good id—”

Nami suddenly made a face. “No, never mind. I don’t like bugs either, and if he’s going to be screaming about them all the time, that’ll set me on edge, too.”

“Very well.” Robin looked between her and Sanji. “Without getting specific... what he did to you was make you do what he wanted you to.”

“Yeah,” Nami said, crossing her arms. “So?”

“So... why don’t we make him do what _everyone_ wants him to?”

Nami brightened as Robin leaned forward. “Sanji. Lift your head.”

Sanji raised his head, eyes still shut and a small smile still on his face.

“From now on... you will do whatever anyone on this crew asks of you without question, whether it be a request, a demand, or an order. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“You’re very good, Sanji,” Robin said like a mother praising a child. Nami stifled laughter behind her hand.

“Thank you,” Sanji murmured. Robin leaned forward and finally removed the cloth which had held his hair away from his eyes, and it fell back again. Sanji didn’t react.

“Whenever you wake up from this state, you will not remember what happened when you were under. Is that clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Open your eyes.”

Sanji’s eyes opened again and he stared ahead, waiting.

“When I snap my fingers,” Robin said, “you will go to your bed without speaking to anyone and fall asleep. You will wake up in an hour, and you will not remember being hypnotized. You will think that Nami and I told you off in private for hypnotizing her before you left to take a nap. Do you understand?”

“...Yes.”

Robin wasted no time, clicking her fingers right away. Sanji stood, went to the door, and opened it, leaving immediately.

“That went well,” Nami said at last. “Longer than I thought, but...”

Robin smiled. “Let’s take care of the ropes and things.”

* * *

 

Sanji marched onto the deck, still smiling, and took the stairs step-by-step, staring straight ahead.

“Hey, what’d they want?” Usopp asked, approaching him immediately, but Sanji ignored him and shuffled into the men’s quarters.

Usopp frowned and followed him, Zoro now close behind. “Don’t ignore me!”

Sanji settled himself on a bed and shut his eyes. In just a minute, he was fast asleep.

Usopp and Zoro glanced at each other and went back outside to find Robin leaving the women’s quarters with Nami, both carrying rope and a chair.

“Did... something happen with the cook?” Zoro asked, eyeing the ropes.

“Nothing he didn’t deserve,” Nami said with a grin.

Usopp hid behind Zoro, concern written over his face as the girls went to put the items away.

“What’d he do?” he whispered.

“Dunno, but I hope we can find out so we know to never do it,” Zoro muttered.

* * *

 

Right on time, Sanji woke up, sitting up sleepily and yawning. He ran a hand through his hair and went outside to find the sun low in the sky.

“Hm,” he murmured, heading to the kitchen, but on the upper deck he was stopped by Usopp.

“Hi!” Usopp exclaimed, glancing around and slinging an arm around Sanji’s shoulders.

“Get off me,” Sanji said in irritation.

“So, um,” Usopp said, refusing to move his arm, “can you tell me what happened in the girls’s room earlier?”

“Nami- _san_ and Robin- _chan_ lectured me for hy—” Sanji caught himself. “For... something I did.”

“Oh, okay. Why were you ignoring me, then?”

“What? I wasn’t—when?”

“You came out looking all weird,” Usopp said patiently, following Sanji with that arm around his shoulders even as Sanji struggled to get to the kitchen, “and I went right up to you and you totally brushed me off like a _jerk.”_

“Did I?” Sanji said in utter bemusement. “I don’t remember that at all. I just left after that happened to take a nap.”

“Can you at least apologize?” Usopp exclaimed, acting hurt.

“I’m sorry,” Sanji said.

Usopp blinked in surprise, removing his arm at last. “Oh. Okay, then. When’s dinner?”

* * *

 

“Nami- _san,_ Robin- _chan,”_ Sanji exclaimed at dinnertime, swooning, “I’m very sorry again—do you forgive me?”

Nami frowned before she remembered what Robin had ordered Sanji to think. “Oh,” she said. “Hm... not yet.”

“Okay,” Sanji said sadly.

The others watched them curiously. Finally, Zoro said, “So what happened between you and Nami?”

“I hy—”

“ _Shush,”_ Robin ordered, and Sanji promptly fell silent. “Nami’s not ready to share yet, Sanji.”

“Oh,” Sanji said. “Of course—sorry, Nami- _san_.”

“Whatever. Dinner tastes okay.”

Sanji smiled in delight.

“Can I get more booze over here?” Zoro demanded.

Sanji’s smile turned to a scowl as he stalked to the cabinet. “Get it yourself,” he snapped, opening it up and grabbing a bottle. “I’m not your damn slave, and the cabinet’s not that far.”

He handed Zoro the bottle, who shrugged and popped it open.

“More,” Luffy demanded, holding up his plate. Sanji grabbed his plate, filled it with food, and handed it back quite forcefully. Luffy grinned and started wolfing it down.

* * *

 

“Hey, whose turn is it to take watch?” Usopp yelled over the shouting and punching in the men’s quarters.

“It’s yours, dipshit,” Sanji called.

Usopp frowned. “Is not!”

“Nah, pretty sure it is,” Luffy said, grinning.

Usopp pouted and turned to Sanji. “Can you take watch again tonight? Pretty please?”

“I did it last night,” Sanji exclaimed, turning and going for the door. “Why the hell should I stay up two nights in a row for your sorry a—?”

The door shut behind him, cutting off his rant.

“I guess he’s taking watch,” Franky said.

“Yes,” Usopp whispered, pumping his fist in celebration.

“Take tomorrow’s shift,” Zoro muttered, eyeing him.

“Yes, sir.”

* * *

 

In the wee hours, Sanji shivered in the crow’s nest, keeping an eye on the horizon for approaching enemies.

“Wait, why the hell am I out here?” he muttered.

* * *

 

The following morning was much the same as usual, though oddly Sanji seemed to be doing whatever anyone asked of him, namely getting more food or drink.

When he was the only one left in the kitchen, the door opened again, and Brook entered.

“What do you want?” Sanji said with a scowl, putting away the last of the dishes. “I’m not getting you a drink, you can wait.”

“Could you get me some milk, Sanji- _san?”_ Brook said politely.

“I just told you, I’m not getting you shit right now!” Sanji snapped, entering the fridge’s code and opening it. As he got out the milk and brought down a glass, he said, “Now what do you want?!”

He shoved the glass of milk to Brook, who held it delicately while Sanji put the milk away.

“You said you weren’t getting any drinks,” he pointed out. “Yet here I am.”

Sanji stared at the glass of milk in the bony hand and he suddenly frowned. “Why did I do that?” he muttered.

“That’s what I’m asking you.” Brook sipped his milk.

“I... don’t know,” Sanji said. “That’s kinda weird...”

Brook looked at him, thinking.

“Leave the room for a few seconds,” he said abruptly.

“What?” Sanji said, startled, as he walked around the counter. “Why?”

He left and shut the door behind him. Brook sipped his milk.

The door flew open again and Sanji came storming in, slamming it behind him.

“What the hell is going on?” he hissed, looking deeply unnerved.

“I’m not sure,” Brook murmured. He finished his milk and pushed the glass away, standing. “I’ll be back sooner or later.”

Sanji stared after him as he left.

“What’s going on?” he repeated, running his fingers through his hair.

* * *

 

“...So, I was hoping you two might know what’s happening,” Brook finished.

Nami and Robin glanced at each other.

“Do you want to tell everyone?” Robin asked.

Nami shrugged. “They were bound to find out sooner or later. I guess so.”

She gestured to Robin and Brook, got them to the kitchen, and hardly spared Sanji a glance as she leaned out the door and whistled loudly. A minute later, everyone was in the galley, rubbing their ears.

“Damn, that sounded like it was right next to me,” Franky complained.

“What’s going on, Nami- _san?”_ Sanji asked, looking around. “Is it an emergency?”

Nami shrugged. “Not really. Robin?”

“I have something to tell you all,” Robin said. “Except you, Sanji.”

Sanji frowned. “What—?”

“Paprika,” she said clearly, watching him.

Instantly his shoulders slumped and his eyes glazed over, a small smile returning to his face.

“Um, what?!” Chopper exclaimed, running to Sanji. “Sanji?! Are you okay?!”

He turned big and waved a hand in front of Sanji’s face. No reaction.

“Leave him alone,” Robin said gently. “Sanji. Come here.”

“Yes,” Sanji said. He walked around Chopper, who turned small and followed him as he approached Robin and stood at attention.

“Sit,” Robin said, gesturing to the couch next to her, and Sanji seated himself. “Close your eyes.” His eyes shut and he relaxed into the cushions, head falling to the side.

“So... _what did you do?”_ Usopp demanded, staring at Sanji with the others.

“Hypnosis,” Robin said easily, showing him the spiraling pendulum. Tucking it away again, she continued, “It took awhile, but I finally got him under.”

Zoro snapped his fingers in front of Sanji’s face to no reaction. “Impressive,” he said. “But also, why?”

“Saaaaanji...” Luffy said, waving his fingers. “You will get me meeeeeat...”

Franky hit him. “Don’t be weird!”

“He’ll only listen to me, anyway,” Robin added. Luffy frowned.

“But... why?” Brook said, echoing Zoro.

Nami shifted. “Because... he hypnotized _me_ —to make me think we were together.”

A pause, and the others let out “Oh’s” of comprehension.

“Did he really?” Franky exclaimed, now scowling at Sanji. “That’s so not super! Wake him up so I can hit him and he can feel it!”

“I already told Nami no physical violence,” Robin said sternly.

“Really?” Zoro said in disappointment. “Because I second hitting him.”

“Your efforts are appreciated,” Nami said dryly.

Luffy reached out and flicked Sanji’s nose. Sanji barely twitched.

“Maybe we just can hit him like this,” he suggested, cracking his knuckles. “If he did that to Nami without her permission—”

“Yeah, maybe,” Usopp agreed, reaching into his bag. Brook started to draw his sword and Chopper turned big.

“He might wake up if you do that, and I said _no violence,”_ Robin said, pushing everyone back with phantom hands.

“I wasn’t gonna hit him,” Chopper protested, turning small again. “I was just gonna stand there and look scary.”

Robin smiled at him while Nami gave the others exasperated but amused looks. “I appreciate it, guys, I really do, but if I wasn’t allowed to stab him none of you are either.”

“Why did you go straight to stabbing?” Usopp shrieked, hands flying to his head.

“Why not?” Zoro said. “It’s pretty effective, I can tell you that firsthand.”

“So what’re we gonna do to him?” Luffy asked. As usual, when it came to upsetting Nami, he was quite ready for revenge.

“That’s the thing,” Robin said, smiling. “Brook noticed earlier...”

“Ah, is that it?” Brook exclaimed. “I happened to realize that Sanji- _san_... was doing everything he was told to do.”

The others stared at him, and then at Sanji, and then at Robin, who smiled.

“Whoa,” Usopp whispered. “That’s so much power.”

“Don’t you all abuse it at once,” Robin said. “And I realized the moment I said it that’s more or less an empty order, but really, he’ll notice too soon if you all do it too often.”

“Okay,” Usopp said in reluctant agreement. Zoro nodded, though he too was reluctant, and the others eventually agreed to do their best.

“Speaking of noticing—Brook, you brought it to his attention earlier?” Robin asked.

“I did,” Brook admitted.

Robin looked at Sanji, who had not stirred during all of this. “Sanji?”

“Yes?” he murmured.

“When I clap my hands, you will wake up with no memory of talking to Brook earlier today. You will also think Nami gathered everyone here to tell us about potential upcoming bad weather. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect.” Robin clapped her hands and Sanji opened his eyes, sitting up and rubbing his head.

“Is there anything else, Nami- _san?”_ he asked with a nervous smile.

The others stared at him incredulously as Nami gave him a stiff smile. “No, that’s it,” she said sweetly. “Sorry for getting everyone in here for something so minor.”

“No problem,” Zoro said, playing along. He stood and stretched. “I’ll be in the crow’s nest.”

He left with most of the others, casting glances back at Sanji. Robin and Nami left, too, leaving only Sanji, Luffy, and Chopper in the galley.

“What?” Sanji said, frowning when he noticed Luffy and Chopper staring.

Luffy reached out and flicked his nose.

“Hey,” Sanji snapped, batting his hand away and standing. “Cut that out.”

“Paprika,” Luffy exclaimed.

“What about it?” Sanji said. “There’s some in the spice drawer, does Usopp need some or something?”

Chopper ran off to his office while Luffy pouted and wandered out of the galley.

“The hell’s his problem?” Sanji muttered, going to the sink to make sure he’d put away all the dishes.

* * *

 

Sanji looked up later that day as Zoro entered the kitchen, toweling himself off.

“Get that sweaty thing out of here, and the towel too,” he snapped.

“Nah,” Zoro said, throwing the towel onto the counter.

“Gross,” Sanji exclaimed, making a face. “Pick that up!”

Zoro grinned. “You do it.”

“It’s _your_ towel,” Sanji exclaimed, picking it up with obvious disgust and throwing it to Zoro. “God, you damn barbarian, sweating all over my _nice_ kitchen—”

“Get me some booze.”

“ _And_ you have the nerve to ask for a drink, too,” Sanji said in utter exasperation, going to the cabinet and getting a bottle. Handing it to Zoro, he continued, “Were you raised in a cave?”

“Thanks,” Zoro said, walking back out as he popped the top and took a drink.

The door shut behind him and Sanji blinked.

“Did I just... ? That was weird,” he muttered, shaking his head.

* * *

 

“Okay, you buffoons,” Sanji said sternly, marching to Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper. “Nami- _san_ has asked me to make you all shut the hell up and stop disturbing her afternoon rest, so you’re all damn well going to do it. Got it?”

“Sorry,” Chopper exclaimed. “We’ll be quiet!”

Luffy and Usopp grinned at each other.

“He could make noise with us,” Usopp said.

“What?” Sanji said.

“Sanji, yell the next thing you say,” Luffy exclaimed.

“WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!”

“Keep it down!” Nami called, leaning out from her room.

“Sorry, Nami- _san,_ I’m trying to stop them!” Sanji exclaimed as softly as he could. As Nami left, he turned back to Luffy and Usopp with a heavy scowl.

“You’re the one who yelled,” Usopp said innocently.

Sanji held up a finger, but his expression changed. “I did,” he said, frowning. “Why did I... ?”

He shook his head. “Ugh. Just stay quiet.”

“Can you get me some meat?” Luffy asked quickly.

Sanji left without a word and returned soon with a few pieces of meat on a small plate. As Luffy took it with thanks and started eating, Sanji’s eyes widened.

“Why did I do that?” he muttered. “I wasn’t going to...”

Chopper looked away. Sanji looked down at him with a frown and knelt.

“Do you know something?” he asked, suddenly suspicious. Chopper frantically shook his head.

“Hey, leave him alone,” Usopp said defensively.

“Well, do either of you know something I don’t?” Sanji said in exasperation, straightening up again.

Usopp shrugged innocently while Luffy grinned, handing back the plate.

“Yeah, okay,” Sanji muttered. “Don’t cause trouble.”

He left to wash the plate, scratching his head.

“He actually did the stuff,” Usopp whispered. He glanced down. “Chopper, do you wanna try it too?”

“I feel weird about it,” Chopper protested. “It doesn’t feel right.”

“Yeah, but it’s okay because he basically did the same thing to Nami,” Usopp explained. Chopper frowned but didn’t press it.

* * *

 

It was the next day before Sanji finally realized what was happening.

“I can’t... why am I doing what everyone says?” he said despondently at dinner the next night.

“Are you?” Nami said uncaringly. “What a weird thing to announce to everyone.”

Sanji stared at the wall. “I guess so—”

“Huh, I didn’t even notice,” Franky said, grinning. “Can I get another cola?”

Sanji had already gone to the fridge when his eyes widened, realizing what he had unconsciously started to do, but he couldn’t stop himself from handing Franky one of his drinks.

“I couldn’t help doing that!” he exclaimed in frustration. “I didn’t mean to—I would’ve anyway, but—”

“How odd,” Robin said nonchalantly, not even looking up. “That you’re... being told to do something, even if it’s not what you want.”

Nami looked away, grinning, while Sanji frowned, trying to figure out what she meant.

“Hey, cook, say you’re a dumbass,” Zoro said.

“I _am_ a dumbass,” Sanji said matter-of-factly before he scowled at Zoro. “Fucking asshole, you _know_ I can’t help it and you still—!”

“Well, you all heard it, he finally admitted it,” Zoro said, grinning.

“We did hear it, Sanji- _san_ ,” Brook said solemnly.

“No doubt about it, we’re all witnesses,” Usopp said dramatically.

Luffy was too busy laughing to say anything, while Chopper frowned at his food.

“I’m leaving,” Sanji said, hurrying for the door. “Just—put your dishes in the sink when you’re done.”

He shut the door behind him before anyone could tell him to stop.

“Maybe this is going too far?” Robin said.

“No,” Nami said flatly.

* * *

 

Sanji did his best to hide from everyone that evening, going so far as to sleep in Nami’s tangerine bushes instead of the beds (and shivering because of it), but he was forced to face them during breakfast the next morning, where he was accosted by demands for extra food and drink and even requests to do certain dances. He looked a wreck by the time breakfast ended, and stayed in the galley for quite some time.

He’d just snuck out to go to the toilet when he was stopped by Zoro.

“Okay, so maybe,” Zoro began. He scowled and yanked Sanji’s hands away from his ears. “So maybe we’re overloading you a little bit.”

Sanji glared at him, shadows of sleeplessness under his eyes. The others came on deck, watching them.

“But also, you’ve kinda deserved this,” Zoro continued.

“What for?” Sanji exclaimed. “What the fuck for?!”

“You should know what!” Zoro said in exasperation, turning away. “If you’re going to be this annoying, just go jump in the sea, why don’t you? You want to know what you did wrong, talk to Nami and—”

“Hey, _Sanji!”_ Usopp yelled, because the moment the word “sea” had left Zoro’s lips, Sanji had turned around, run to the railing, and leapt over the edge without even kicking off his shoes.

Zoro turned, finally noticing the lack of Sanji.

“Oh, shit,” he exclaimed, running to the railing with the others.

Sanji bobbed in the surf, coughing and gasping for air. “Fucking _asshole!”_ he yelled at Zoro, rubbing his eyes while Usopp held back Luffy and Chopper from jumping in with Sanji. “God _damn_ —”

“Didn’t mean to!” Zoro yelled awkwardly.

Nami dropped down a rope and Sanji climbed up, shaking himself and shivering.

“Um...” Chopper said. “Are you... crying?”

“Yes,” Sanji snapped unwillingly, rubbing his eyes. “Partly the salt, partly whatever the _fuck’s_ happening with me lately—” His voice cracked. “I’m sick of this shit—”

“Paprika,” Robin said gently. Sanji went quiet. His hands dropped to his sides and his eyes fell shut, expression going blank besides the small smile.

“Should we end this now?” she asked, looking around at everyone but pointedly Nami.

Everyone nodded.

“He’s... had enough,” Luffy agreed.

“Even if we kept it up, stuff like that is gonna slip out sooner or later,” Zoro muttered guiltily. “So...”

“He’s... _probably_ learned his lesson,” Franky said.

Finally, Nami sighed. “Alright. Do it, Robin.”

Robin nodded and turned to Sanji. “Sanji, listen to me.”

“Yes?”

“I will clap my hands,” she said slowly. “When I do, you will wake up. You will remember being hypnotized, everything that happened when you were in this state, and everything you were told to forget. Every command and suggestion that was given to you will be erased from your subconscious or unconscious, including trigger words. Is that clear?”

“Yes,” he murmured after a pause.

“How are you so good with words?” Franky muttered.

Robin shrugged. “I read. You should try it sometime.”

Ignoring his indignant sputter, she clapped her hands sharply. Sanji blinked, the smile disappearing, and he looked around. His hands went to his temples as his brows knitted together, and he had to lean against Franky for support.

“Oh,” he said at last. “That... explains it.”

He got himself standing on shaky legs and looked at Nami. “Nami- _san_ —I really am sorry about what I did,” he said, eyes cast down. “Not just because of this—I thought about it, when I thought you two had told me off—and I realized how awful it was. I shouldn’t ever have even thought of doing it. I’m very sorry.”

Nami eyed him in surprise.

“Alright,” she said. “But your debt’s still going up by six hundred percent.”

Sanji smiled in relief.

“You aren’t mad?” Robin said in surprise.

“Not at you two,” Sanji exclaimed. “Never at you two.” He glanced away sheepishly. “I kinda deserved that, as retribution. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, good, he’s not mad,” Usopp said, smiling.

“I’m mad at _you_ assholes!” Sanji snapped, suddenly scowling. “You all knew it and took advantage of me!”

“Yeah, well, we were mad at you for Nami,” Luffy said. “And nothing bad happened except just now.”

Sanji turned to Zoro, seething. “Yeah, moss, what the hell were you thinking?!”

“It was a mistake!” Zoro protested as Nami and Robin walked away, leaving everyone to deal with Sanji themselves. “I didn’t set out thinking, ‘Boy, it sure would be fun to make the cook drown himself—’”

“Clearly you weren’t thinking at all!” Sanji looked at Chopper, who was hiding behind Usopp’s leg. “You can go. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll get you some candy later.”

Chopper hurried away.

“I want candy, too,” Luffy exclaimed.

“No! You get nothing!” Sanji yelled. “None of you get anything! You’re all bastards!”

“So are you!” Franky yelled.

“I paid my damn dues, and I’m hiding all your cola!”

“That’s cruel!”

“I’m locking up the booze, too!”

“Hey!”

“And the snacks!”

“Sanji!”

“And the tea, and the Tabasco!”

“Sanji- _san!”_

“Sanji- _kun_ , how could you?!”

Sanji gave each of them a heavy scowl in turn. “You can have your shit back tomorrow! All of you better stay away from me right now or you’re getting an ass-kicking!” He stormed to the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

“Oh, sure, the girls don’t get their favorites taken,” Usopp muttered. “Not even Robin—”

“Look, I’m not bringing anything up with him right now,” Franky said. “You can if you want to, but I would prefer to keep what I have left of my limbs.”

Usopp gulped. “That’s a good point.”


End file.
